The SugarInduced Psychosis
by syko4bosco aka A. Lalad
Summary: Mulder rediscovers the wonderful world of candy...


The Sugar-Induced Psychosis  
By: Awesomo Fox aka A. Lalad  
Category: SH   
Rating: PG-13 for some bad language  
Spoilers: None  
Summary: Mulder rediscovers the wonderful world of candy...  
(as told by Scully)  
Disclaimer: They aren't mine in *this* world. You're a lucky  
dude, Chris Carter...  
Special Thanks To: This one is for Joanna and Bridget-who  
consume nothing but candy and pop during lunch  
everyday.   
Note: Mountain Dew and FunDip do **NOT** mix...  
Feedback: muldersdoctor@cheerful.com  
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~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
The Sugar-Induced Psychosis  
By: The Awesomo Fox aka A. Lalad  
It was a simple drug bust, so I'm still not sure what we were   
called in for.   
  
Just some guy, living above a candy store, trying to get the   
store owner to spike the sugar with cocaine. No real biggie.  
  
Not something the guys in blue couldn'tve handled, anyways.  
  
And that was where it all began. In the candy store, while  
I was questioning Mr. MacDurgan, the store owner.  
  
Mulder got bored-seeing as all of the boys in blue were doing   
all of the investigating-and when he began to annoy me, I   
simply told him to shove off and find something to do with  
himself.  
  
I didn't notice what he chose to do, and even if I did, it   
wouldn't have stuck out as strange to me anyways.  
  
Mulder bought a couple of PixyStix, and stashed them in   
his pocket.  
  
I didn't see him buy them. I didn't notice the way he   
bit his lip and changed his mind about purchasing them  
four times.  
  
And so Mulder bought some candy-so what? Isn't   
everyone entitled to eat what they want? Should I   
or (at least) *would* I have known to police him?  
  
I had no idea that 6 thin tubes of sugar could lead  
to such chaos. And I never would have guessed.  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
Looking back now, I can recall certain circumstances  
where Mulder's..."problem" was evident. I just ignored  
all the signs.  
  
There was that one Christmas where we'd hung up our   
stockings (from the cabinet where the X-Files were   
stashed no less) and we went in late at night to fill  
eachothers' up.  
  
Mulder had given me all of his candy from his stocking  
and I do remember noticing there was none in mine.  
  
I did get a very nice watch, and some lotion, but that's  
beyond the point.  
  
Then there was the time we went to...some county fair  
after a stakeout, and Mulder bought me a cotton candy.  
  
Didn't get himself one; he seemed content staring at me  
while I ate mine (I remember the look in his eyes   
frightening me a bit).  
  
Come to think of it, I don't ever really remember Mulder  
eating candy. Not at parties, not around the holidays...  
  
He drank diet soda with fake sweetners, or iced tea with  
honey, but never regular pop with sugar.  
  
But the incidents were so few and so far apart, they   
never made an impact. Too bad for me.  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
We wrapped up the candy store case pretty quickly, and  
Mulder and I headed back to the office.   
  
I was a little angry and exhausted from the goosehunt  
Skinner'd put us on, but Mulder was very quiet.  
  
He let me drive and stared at his hands much of the   
ride home. His actions were that of a little boy  
who had just broken a window and was waiting for his  
dad to find out.  
  
But I wouldn't press him for info. I was-at the  
time-in my own little world thinking of how stupid   
criminals these days were.  
  
Finally, some time along the road (I really have no  
idea when) Mulder turned to me.  
  
"I did something bad." He said to me softly.  
  
"What now?" I looked at him increduosly, thinking  
he screwed someone over and got us in trouble, or  
comitted some stupid crime. Everything I thought   
was a potential candidate for getting my ass fried  
and making me angrier ran through my head.  
  
What he said shocked me, and it took a moment for me  
to distinguish if he was joking or not.  
  
"I bought...I bought some candy...at the shop."  
  
"And?..."  
  
"I haven't had candy since I was little. My dad  
forbid it, because me and Sam used to go on these  
sugar highs, and..."  
  
"So what's the big deal? You were a hyper kid."  
  
"Yeah, but what if I don't react to it well? I was  
a sugar addict at 7 and a half. I would use up   
every penny of my allowance to buy suckers and  
soda and licorice."  
  
I started laughing and he frowned.   
  
"Mulder, I think you out-grow that. Little kids  
go on sugar highs. Not adults. What did you buy  
anyways?"  
  
He reached his hand in his pocket and revealed 6  
pixystyx.   
  
I looked up at him from the road.   
  
"Yeah, those are going to kill you. I'm sure."  
  
He put them back in his pocket.  
  
"Hey," I said "If it makes you feel any better,   
I bought something too."  
  
"What?"  
  
We stopped at a stoplight.  
  
I fished around on the ground of the backseat and   
grabbed my treat.  
  
It was a sucker the size of my head. All colors;  
I hadn't had one since I was a kid.  
  
"I'll eat this, and you eat yours, and we'll see  
what happens. And if you think that after this  
YOU are going to be hyper, guess again."  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
I thought that would comfort him. I thought that  
he would feel better about what he did, because   
the more I watched him fret over this (seemingly  
silly) incident, I realized he really felt bad.  
  
But he took what I said as a challenge. When  
we got back, I unwrapped my sucker and he ripped   
open each paper tube.  
  
I have never seen someone suck down pure (colored)  
sugar like he did.   
  
The first one he ate really slow, but as he went  
along, he got faster and faster, like he was  
driven by a crazed lust for this stuff.  
  
I figured it was just for show.  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
We closed up shop that night around 6 pm,   
pretty damn early for us these days.  
  
Mulder and I had been working 90-100 hour  
weeks lately and I was ready to go home for a  
hot shower and a good book.  
  
No more aliens for me. No siree, at least not  
tonight.  
  
To tell you the truth, even as I ate my   
colored-sugar disk (aka: my sucker)I forgot   
about Mulder's strange confession about  
confections.  
  
He was not being any worse than he usually   
was, as far as talking and being hyped up,  
so the thought fell from my mind and was left-  
for the time being-to collect dust in the   
corners of my unused bain.  
  
So we went our separate ways that night  
without a second thought to it.  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
The next morning I arrived at work early.  
  
I was planning to go grab some coffee from the  
shop down the road, figuring Mulder would  
be there by the time I got back.  
  
But even at the early hour, I found Mulder  
sitting at his desk, with his back to the   
door.   
  
He must not have heard me approach, because  
as soon as I called his name, he whipped  
around and threw his chair in front of the   
counter to block it.  
  
He wiped his mouth quickly, even though  
I didn't see anything there.  
  
"Uh...mornin' Scully..." There was a sick  
glee in his voice; a fevered man would have  
sounded the same.  
  
"Morning Mulder." I hesistated.  
  
"Whatcha doin' here so early?"  
  
I could tell he was trying to be innocent  
in asking me, but something wasn't right.  
  
"I was going to get some coffee for us,  
maybe some bagels too. You want something?"  
  
As I spoke, I stepped slowly to my right, to  
try and get a look at what he was hiding.  
  
No luck. He knew what I was doing and moved  
with me, still too stubborn to reveal his   
secret.  
  
So I turned to get my purse, acting natural.  
  
As I fake-rumaged through my crap, I thought I  
heard a giggle, but I decided it couldn't be.  
  
I rummaged some more. And more giggles errupted  
from my partner.  
  
I spun around and found him biting his lip and  
smiling like a clown. He had something hidden  
behind his back, and I could hear the crinkling  
of plastic.   
  
"Mulder..." I started, as if speaking to a 2   
year old. Show Auntie Dana whatcha got...  
  
"What's wrong?" I finished instead.  
  
"Nuh-thin" he sang.  
  
"Mulder? What's behind your back?"  
  
"Nuthin!"   
  
I calmly walked toward him and he didn't seem to  
notice.   
  
If you're a good boy, and tell Auntie Dana whatcha  
got, maybe I'll give you some candy...  
  
That was it! Candy! He must have candy!!  
  
Although I couldn't see what he was hiding directly   
behind him, I could now see the counter, and I-indeed-  
did find a bag of gummy bears and 2 3 liter bottles   
of Mountain Dew, with at least half missing from both.  
  
But it didn't really hit me then. I didn't really   
notice what was in the bags. Not REALLY.  
  
Mulder got up from his chair, still clutching his  
precious secret (which was no longer a secret unbeknownst  
to him) and walking backward away from me.  
  
"Well," I started back toward the door. "I have to use  
the little girls room, so I'll be back in a sec. K?"  
  
"Mmmhmm." he answered, biting his lip again.  
  
I walked out and turned the corner. I hit the wall   
and stayed flat against it. I took out my makeup compact  
and used the mirror as a spy tool, angling it so I could  
see into the office.   
  
Mulder was looking right at me-or, my mirror. But he wasn't.  
He didn't see it, he was checking to see I was gone.  
  
Then, laughing evily (a laugh that really gave me chills)  
Mulder pulled the thing he was holding in front of him.  
  
It was a huge bag full of chocolate. I couldn't tell   
what exactly, but it was something chocolate.  
  
He dipped his hand into the bag greedily, grabbed a   
fistful of candy and stuffed it into his mouth very   
much like I had seen natives do to fruit on the   
discovery channel.   
  
I watched him for quite awhile, and he ate the   
whole bag. As soon as I decided he was done, I   
figured it was about time I "returned" from the  
bathroom.   
  
"So," I stated naturally, as I walked into the office.  
  
"What are we doing today?"  
  
"Skinner's sending us on another case, it's a robbery  
on 15 East 53rd street." He seemed hesitant, like he  
was making it all up.  
  
53rd street? Why did that seem firmiliar?  
  
"Mulder! We were just there Friday, for the  
drug bust!"  
  
"Oh, really?" he tried to look innocent, but I knew  
the realization that I knew what he was planning  
disappointed him.  
  
"Yeah, the drug bust was at the store right next  
to that. The CANDY store."  
  
I sighed.  
  
"Mulder, what's up?"  
  
"The Sky." (giggle) Like I haven't heard that before.  
  
"No, really. I'm being serious. What's with   
all of the candy?"  
  
"What cand-"  
  
"Don't try and pull that crap on me. I know you've  
been gorging yourself on sugar all morning. What  
the Hell is wrong with you?"  
  
"I...I..."  
  
It hit me.   
  
:: I haven't had candy since I was little. My dad  
forbid it, because me and Sam used to go on these  
sugar highs, and... ::  
  
Oh.  
  
No.  
  
But before I could make my next move, he jumped from  
his chair, swept up as much as he could from his   
stash on the counter and bolted out the door.  
  
Dammit.  
  
"Mulder!" I tried to chase after him, but with my   
short legs and high heels, running as fast as he  
was and skipping stairs was impossible.  
  
Shit.   
  
By the time I got to the 1st floor, he was no where  
to be seen.   
  
But there was a sticky trail of Mountain Dew leading  
out the door. He must have punctured the bottle.  
  
Hallelujah.  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
Of course I figured that Mulder would escape a la  
motor vehicle, but luckily, he'd forgotten his keys  
in his coat pocket, which was hanging on the coat   
rack by the door. Lucky for me.   
  
Or maybe not.   
  
How was I going to find him if I didn't know where  
he was headed?  
  
I got in my car and started out. We didn't tell  
Skinner we were going, so I hoped that he would  
not happen to need us anytime soon.  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
After Mulder calmed down after the initial sugar/  
adrenaline rush, he must've gained back enough   
sense to hail a cab and take it home.   
  
Luckily, I figured he was headed there anyways.  
  
I didn't really know where that instinct came   
from.   
  
Most people would've guessed that he was about   
to hit another candy store or ice cream parlor.  
  
Or maybe even the D.C. KickinKola! factory.  
  
But he was headed home. I was sure of it.  
  
I pulled up around the back of the building,   
away from the view of his windows, and pulled  
out my key to his place.  
  
When I got up there, the door was ajar, so I   
pushed it open and cautiously peeked inside.  
  
Even in the light of day, it was dark, and I   
could hardly see anything at all.  
  
I could see the sillouetes of soda bottles   
and bags on his dining room table, and I   
knew it was more sugar, but that was just  
about all.  
  
"Muld-" I started, when something semi-hard  
hit me square between the eyes.  
  
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" he screamed, jumping  
from out behind the door. It was a war-cry.  
  
A very INSANE war-cry.  
  
And he had a gun in his hands.   
  
It took me a second to realize that it   
wasn't a real gun, but rather, a colorful fake  
plastic one that little kids use.  
  
And it was filled with malted milkballs.  
  
More pelted me and I could only shield myself,  
and try and decide if I was trying to escape the  
apartment or enter it.  
  
Mulder was laughing like a psycho.  
  
If I could get close enough to him, my chances of prying  
his "weapon" away were greater, but with him  
like this...  
  
I was scared. Not of Mulder, but *by* him. I had  
never seen him like this. Not this looney.  
  
At the rate Mulder was shooting those milkballs  
at me, I knew he'd run out fast. And I was   
right.  
  
He looked down at the gun in shock, as if he   
thought it was a bottomless barrell, and in   
that time, I made my move.  
  
I could've sworn it happened in slow motion,  
and my memories are all in black and white.  
  
I jumped from where I stood and hit Mulder,  
bringing him down with me to the floor.  
  
Before I knew what I was doing, and he could  
realize what I'd done, I dragged him into the   
bathroom, grabbed my handcuffs and secured him   
to a large, stable and strong pipe running along   
the wall near the floor.  
  
As I stood, admiring my work, I saw his face-  
pure shock and confusion.  
  
But I wasn't gonna budge. I was going to be  
strong. I would have to be the bad guy.   
  
He was going to quit sugar cold-turkey. I   
would see to that.   
  
And even if it took 2 weeks I would sit here  
and watch him-I would do it.   
  
Because I was never going to fear Mulder that  
way again. The thought of him on a sugar-high  
made me sicker than I would've ever imagined.  
  
"Look who's laughing now." I muttered as I   
picked up a milkball from the floor, dusted  
it off and popped it into my mouth.  
  
Mmmmm-malted...  
  
Damn, these are good. I thought, gazing  
back toward the kitchen. I wonder what other  
goodies he has stashed around here...  
  
~^~^~^~^~^~  
Fin  
~^~^~^~^~^~   
Feedback to: muldersdoctor@cheerful.com  
^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
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^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~^~  
  
"A writer is a person who has taught their mind to   
MISBEHAVE..."  
~Stephen King 


End file.
